Can't start a fire

So I got this portable firepit for Christmas / Welcome Home gift.
It was great when we had a Christmas party with 50 people. Because people were oozing out to the backyard on a cold night, and I had this firepit to keep people warm.

Of course the one problem I have... I can't start a damn fire!
I can easily start a campfire with a box of matches and a few twigs and some logs.
But I can't start a damn fire with a 30-minute burning Duralog firestarter, bottle of lighter fluid, and a damn bundle of logs that they sell at Albertsons.
WTF?!?!?!?

That's actually the firestarter burning.
Even after 30 minutes of that flame, the log never caught on fire!

Don't Forget

Went to a dinner at my mom's friend's house.
I really didn't want to go because I haven't been in the mood to talk with anyone. This whole last few days of this Holiday season had put me in a crappy mood. Not to mention few other developments due to some stupid people doing even more stupid things. Just a bunch of F*#&-ups.
Anyway, I haven't been in a good mood lately. Maybe what I need is a nice relaxing vacation.

Going back to my story...
Went to visit my mom's friend. They live at an apartment somewhere in Garden Grove.
I live comfortably. Yes, I worry about money and the future, but by looking at the way I live, you'd think that I live comfortably. And I do.
Then I visited their place.

There's nothing wrong with their home. It's a cozy apartment on the third floor.
...but it's nothing like the place I live in.
Then I felt bad because I live in a (practically) new home, and although I don't buy everything I want, I tend to have quiet a bit of things that I do want in my house - the way I want it to be in my house.
Then I realized once again I had forgotten where I had come from. Just a few months ago I was living in an apartment down a few blocks from here, living minimally as I can.

I was checking out their Christmas tree (it was an interesting tree. I hadn't seen one like that before. In the past I've seen the green plastic trees that you plug in each branches to the main trunk of a tree. But this one was different. It was made of aluminum, and each branches had christmas lights instead of plastic pine needles) and wondered why they don't buy a real Christmas tree. They only costed me $22 this year.
Then I realized they must be living paycheck to paycheck - as I am. But with less room for comfort. Then I remembered all those years we lived without an even plastic or aluminum Christmas tree.

Then I understood. And I was deeply saddened.
But now I'm even more saddened because I must've come across as a real jerk!
When I entered their home I didn't even compliment on how nice is their place or how nice it is that they cooked dinner for us. Or even how well they have their place decorated.
They must've thought I was a real stuck up jerk!
Didn't even occur to me to say those things because I was in a crappy mood all weekend. And I guess I'm just not good at those things. But that's not true.
It's only true when I'm consumed with myself, and usually because something is giving me crappy time! Does that make sense at all?

I guess there's no chance for an apology.
I'll just have to remember to be good to them as they are good to me. I tend to miss those things sometimes.

They seem to be living happily, though.
I know a few people like that, and it just puzzles me.
I'm puzzled as to how they can laugh and live out their days when life just doesn't seem all that merry to me.

Am I missing something?
Or am I just doomed to live with a shadow of grim over my head?
What is it?!?!?!?

Tonight once again, I was reminded of where I had come from.
My only hope is that I won't forget that.

It's so easy to forget and get caught up in this rat-race.

Someone had told me once, "you can work your ass off and win the rat race. But in the end, you're still just a rat."

Merry Christmas

There are those who love Christmas season.
And then there are those who absolutely dred the holiday season. For some, holiday seasons are nothing but reminders of their loneliness and pain.
Some will say that holiday seasons are the loneliest times of the year. And that we should embrace those in need of family. Relationships.

I used to absolutely hate this Christmas / New Years holiday season. Every Christmas and every New Years brought nothing but a reminder of how alone I truly am in this world we live in - alone yet again even in this world with unimaginable, unfathomable, never-ending possibilities.

It's a bit different this year, though.
I'm not drowned in a pool of sorrow or pain. I'm not holding myself tightly with arms around my chest, tyring to ease the pain right in the center of my chest that stems from the emptiness in my life that we all think can be resolved with the love of that special someone.

No.
It's different this year.
I'm simply bored. I don't long to be in love this holiday season - although that would be absolutely fantastic. I simply want friends to laugh with, with whom I can grab a few bottles of beer.

Cursed this alone-ness!
I don't even have any beer in the house! I have many bottles of wine. Quality wine. But it's just not the same.
Sometimes you just want ice cold beer.

Kateryna

So after 5 restaurants, total of about 3 miles of driving, and 45 minutes spent on the road, we finally ended up across the street from where we had started off.

We ended up at CoCo's restaurant across the street from where we had our Christmas eve service. Christmas being on a Sunday this year, we've decided to have our church service on a Saturday night and have the Christmas day (Sunday) free for everyone to spend with their family.
So as a natural progression, after the service, we decided to go out and have dinner with a few friends. Of course this being Christmas eve and all, the restaurants were packed! Either that or the service people were so rude that we just walked out of the restaurant.

Then there was CoCo's.
And our waitress Kate. She was this very nice blond girl with exotic looks. Very exotic. I didn't notice it until my buddy pointed it out and I looked up.
Then I noticed a slight hint of accent. Not strong at all. I barely noticed it.

Turns out she's from Ukraine.
Got here about a month ago.
I wanted to talk with her a little more, but she hurridly went away with an arm-full of dishes. Not sure whether she scurried off because she was busy or because she didn't want to discuss her personals with us.

Her real name is Kateryna.
But she goes by Kate.
She has managed to turn sexy into cute.
So my buddy said. And I agree.

Christmas Party

Hmmm...
I may be being a little legalistic... but what do you think about drinking wine during a bible study meeting?
Hmmm...

I went to another Christmas party tonight. This is a great year! Three (3) Christmas party so far! Yai ! ! !
Yeah, it was pretty cool. Just a smallgroup from my church. I went because I was told that they're having a Christmas party. Turned out that it was a bible study - with a Christmas party added on to it. Dang it.

So we had a Yellow Elephant Gift Exchange. It's usually a White Elephant gift exchange, but seeing we were all Asians there, we decided it be best a Yellow Elephant gift exchange. =)
Here's how it works.
You have a pile of gifts that people bring (we usually have a limit on gift price - like minimum of $10 and maximum of $10. Which means, you better bring a $10 gift!), and each person gets a turn to choose a gift.
So first person goes and picks out a gift and opens it. Then the next person goes and has a chance to pick an unwrapped gift from the pile of gifts or steal the other person's opened gift. It's classic!
Usually one or two people bring an awesome gift, and the gift stealing war starts. And lot of times people colleborate with others to steal the gift that their girlfriend - or maybe some chick you're trying to impress - wants to get, and it turns into a full-on brawl. It's awesome!

Well, seeing how I was the first to pick a gift, and no one stole my gift, I didn't get to steal anyone else's gift and ended up with the gift that I had originally opened.
How appropriate. The picture above is my winnings from Yellow Elephant.

12:52am

Where does the time go?
Once again it's 12:52 am, and I haven't done all that is to do in a day. What the heck?
Who the heck ever heard of 24 hour-day being long enough for a person?
Some days I'm bored out of my mind and just want time to pass by. And there are others when I just don't seem to have any time on my hands.
Weird, huh?

Santa's village at Fashion Island shopping mall, Newport Beach, CA

Kanye

Kanye West at Concert (he's up on the stage somewhere)

OK.
So my blog entries aren't quiet chronologically ordered. But that happens you don't have much time to type and a whole lot to say. Things just get all jumbled as one big ball of memories...

Went to Kanye West concert at Unversity of California, Irvine (UCI). Go Anteaters!
My friend and I didn't know what kind of crowd to expect. We thought maybe all the black people from LA would show up and it would be the two of us (somewhat asian), and a concert hall full of black people!
Boy...were we wrong.
This place was FILLED with kids! Bunch of highschool-age kids and a whole lot more of college-age students. And of course a whole lot of mix of ethnicity.
Of course.
This is Irvine!
Should have seen it.

Anyway, the concert was good. I didn't know any of the songs that he sang. ...except a few old songs. Apparently he's been around for queit some time. And I thought he was a brand new singer.

Of course after the conert, my friend and I drove around and through three (3) different cities, looking for a chill place to get a drink and grab some munchies.
There's got to be a lounge where we can just chill...
I'm still looking for one. Like the ones I've seen in France. Ahhhh... France...

0.009 cents per gallon

Whoa!
I filled up a tank this morning, and it only cost me $0.10 !
Yeah, can you believe it?
Apparently the computer was acting up at pump #5 at Chevron.
As you can see on the receipt... 0.009 cents per gallon of regular unleaded gas. This has got to be the highlight of my week!