Money > happiness?

Dilbert comics depicts it the best...

Girls

"Girls add color to life" - S.J.S -

It's true.
Whether it's exciting bright neon
Or depressing gray

Stand

Do you ever feel like you're standing by yourself all alone?

Somedays I feel like I have the whole world in my hands.....
And other days I feel like I'm standing all alone.....

"A battle to fight
A beauty to rescue
An adventure to live"
- John Eldredge -

Surrender

I'm giving you my heart,
all that is within

I lay it all down,
for the sake of you my king

I'm giving you my dreams,
I'm laying down my rights

I'm giving up my pride,
for the promise of new life

And I surrender,
All to you, all to you


I'm singing you this song,
I'm waiting at the cross

And all the world holds dear,
I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing you,
for the glory of your name

To know the lasting joy,
even sharing in your pain

And I surrender,
All to you, all to you

- Justin McRoberts -

Sighhh...

My dumbass decided to go swimming at the ocean.
.....with my glasses on!

Awwwwwwwwwwwgh!

Needless to say, my glasses are no more.
DAMMIT! Of all my glasses wearing days (11 years), those are my absolute favorite glasses!
.....washed away to the bottom of the ocean.
Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy?????

Arrrgh!
Yet another stripped away.
Arrrgh! I shall have my revenge on thee.

Restoring

Restoring some files onto my lovely computer, I came across some interesting quotes that I've filed away...

This one's ok:

"I guarantee -- that we'll have tough times.
And I guarantee -- that at some point ... one, or both of us will want to get out of this thing.
But I also guarantee -- that if I don't ask you to be mine ... I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
Because I know in my heart ... you're the only one for me."

- Homer Graham - "Runaway Bride"

I like this one better:

"Sometimes you make a promise and mean it at the time...
but then life gets in the way."

- Dawson - "Dawson's Creek"

But I absolutely love this one:
you have to say this with Scottish accent

"I love you.
Always have.
I want to marry you."

- William Wallace - "Braveheart"

Flowin'

Whenever I hear of someone say, "flow", I think of freestyle rapping. Like, "daaaaaaaaaaang, Snoop Dogg can flow!"

Who would've thought something so uncomfortable will become the very thing that I'd be living for...

Dave Gibbons defines flow - as far as I understand it - as cruising along with God's plan -- "flowing" with God as He makes the decisions and you submit to His will and put your utmost trust in Him that He will guide you in this journey that we call, LIFE (even though in many times that plan doesn't go along with our personal plans at all.)

Now I have a problem with that - as fundamentals of Christian faith is about putting faith in God to "take care of you."

Where / how do you distinguish the difference between being faitful and being lazy.
At what point do you become faithful and not irresponsible or careless.

This summer - for a short period of time - I got a chance to taste this so-called life of flow...

July of this year I set out on a Short Term Mission Trip (for two(2) weeks) to Thailand.
This trip to "do something" -- even for a brief moment - to live not for myself but for others -- was something I've been anxiously awaiting for about a year's timeframe.
But when it was time for me to leave for Thailand, I didn't want anything to do with it.
I was frustrated.
I was pissed.
I was disappointed.

Several days before I went on this trip though, I've made a decision.
I've made a decision to throw down everything, dust my hands off of all things that I think I ought to do, and say, "God, it's all yours. You take care of it. Because as much as I'd like to see things done the way I think it ought to be, ultimately some things I just can't change. You are the one who's in control."

Gawd! I hate that!
I mean, what man likes to admit that, 'he can't do it, and that he gives up?'
Oh... so painful...
And damn humbling.
...I mean after all, he's a god. The God.
And I'm just a man.

Livin' a life of flow - putting trust in God and saying, 'you take care of it because I know I understand that certain things I can't change' - was somewhat satisfying because I've just let things be. Just flow.
But I wonder, if things would have been "better" had I been more involved?
Or was I right in leaving certain things be just that. Be.
We may never know.

But one thing is for sure.
Livin' a life of flow..... it feels very free.

But once again. Was it faith? Or irresponsibility?


One CEO of a major health care provider (I forgot his name) states that living a life of flow' is about living a life of challenge.
Not a life filled with hardships, but about having challenges in life, which gives you excitement - something to live for. Hmmm...

As John Eldredge write in his book, "Wild at Heart", we men need a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live.

I have been - for a very long time - searching for that battle worth fighting.
A passion worth living for.
But sometimes battles are fought over the love of a woman.
Sometimes battles are fought to rescue the damsel in distress.

Maybe I'm searching for my battle in a wrong battle field...

So I'm sitting here in my office.
And my life doesn't feel so much like it's flowing.
Feels like I'm floating...
No. More like sinking.

I know what Dave meant about 'flowin'.
And I absolutely agree with the CEO's take in life and 'flow'.

So which do I believe?
Well, I have my own definition of a life of flow.
And I'm goin' for it!

It's exciting. And it's scary.
But I'm putting my trust in God and choosing my battles carefully.